I am an Alcoholic-well my husband is

Yet again here we are another day in turmoil. One HUGE misunderstanding and my husband goes hitting the boose. At least we finally got to a point where we can now say firmly without danger of misdiagnosing- my husband is an ALCOHOLIC. Great so on top of already having regular everyday family issues, we have Rapid Cycling Bi-polar AND he's an ALCOHOLIC. Wonderful anything else this crazy world wants to throw at us? Here we are wide open! To think this DAY, WAIT NO this whole week has been WONDERFUL until tonight. It didn't help that after I left to visit my mother with my kids my husband called his parents and they so nicely pointed out that my mother was trying to set me up to divorce him and take my kids away from him! Great in-laws I tell ya. Which by the way is not true, I am not a person to be "CONTROLLED" BY ANYONE LET ALONE MY PHYSCO MOM! I am not divorcing, nor do I have plans to divorce my husband. That would not be constructive for the whole family. So pop open a cold one and get ready for the anger. Well after he stopped lying through his teeth about the beer it took me nearly an hour just to get him from the garage(where he had his beer that he knew I was going to dump out ASAP)to the house just so I could get his attention off me long enough to run out and lock the garage door so I could pour out the beer. This really makes me feel infantile and childish but seriously this man can't and shouldn't have beer. Even his psychiatrist told him he shouldn't drink alcohol on his meds. He was so mad he told me he hated me for it but what am I supposed to do let him drink himself til he is so angry he does something we both will regret? I don't think so, not with my three children. I think I will try to get him to go to some AA meetings, maybe some people that have the same problem can help where I can not. I just wish this was easier, again it now feels we took 2 steps forward this week and just tonight alone feels like 3 steps back! I know at times it is getting better but then there are nights like tonight that I start to wonder if this is really going to change. For tonight I was on my A game. I didn't let all his anger and venom get to me. I know it is not really what he meant to say and not really him who said it. At least we dodged the bullet tonight(just a saying not really literal.)

my three girls

Rapid Cycling Bipolar

How does one live with a close family member who has Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder? I wish someone could tell me. Some days it is fine, it can be even great, but a lot of days are PURE hell! While most people are trying to figure out how to get from point A to B I am still trying to find point A in the first place. How do you get someone to admit they have a drinking problem on top of that who doesn't seem to care half the time. A very loving person turning into a nasty soul in a blink of an eye then back again before you even have time to turn around and realize that it is all done (for the moment anyway). Even though we haven't had anything too expensive broken in the last month or so it still does not feel like progress a lot of the time. Sometimes it feels like 1 step forward and 2 steps back. Medication is a heaven sent I must say and I could not live with this person without it, trust me I tried, well he tried because he felt there was nothing wrong with him, it was all me, so he did not need medication. Not really his finest hours. My biggest worry is my kids, they seem untouched by this for the time being. But it puts more stress on me and I really don't have many people to fall back onto. My mom lives far away, my brother has 4 kids of his own, and my dad probably wouldn't want to deal with my wild children. I only have three friends that I don't even get to talk too- course even if I talked to them I still wouldn't ask them to help two of my friends have 3 children each of their own and while my other friend has no children and would LOVE to help with my children she is 7 hrs away! I don't want sympathy, what I want is just a little peace, calm, and quiet!

Viral Meningitis

Ever had it? I did it sucked to say the least. I was in the hospital for over a week, the dr's couldn't find what was wrong with me. I had 4 spinals and they put me on Oxycontin. Why on earth would people ever take this to get high I just don't understand- it just made me sicker with shakes and really horrible nightmares. My head felt like it was exploding. Sometimes I could barely sit up never mind stand up. It started when I visited family back in Feb/March 6 hr car drive away. Let me tell you that drive home was sooooooo not fun! When I first went in the er(I think it was on a Fri) they said I had meningitis and told me to call my regular Dr and get an app with him. They sent me home with ibuprofen and aspirin. John picked me up that sat. Mon I called my dr because the pain really hadn't gone away. Actually not only did it get worse, by now my pain was my whole head down my entire spine, but I also couldn't even keep water down. I felt like I had the most massive hangover and migraine rolled in one with a huge touch of photo-sensitivity, oh and vertigo. They even at one point thought I had Lyme disease actually my dr at the time was quite bothered when he found out I DIDN'T have it. He said he would have bet that I did have it and for some strange reason actually WANTED me to have it! Not one of the most people person type dr's, I don't think he got out much but he was quite funny. I think I had 6 or 7 different drs, every day was a new set of drs. Still not sure how I got it but boy it was no drive in the park!.